God Has Been Tugging At My Heart
As I sit here in the quiet, in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak that seems to be worsening in our world by the moment, I keep debating whether or not this is the right time for me to share what has been on my heart for quite sometime now. There are so many people suffering so greatly with this virus and my heart aches for those that have to be isolated in hospitals and in their homes, many having to die alone, and I cannot even imagine the isolation they must be experiencing.
As I ponder their suffering, I am tempted to feel that my own suffering is nothing in comparison to theirs and I begin to feel guilty over my personal heartbreak at the news of yet another month without getting pregnant. It is tempting to think that my suffering is insignificant and that I should be focusing instead on all I have to be grateful for at a time like this. But that is a lie, and while yes, I should always be focusing on having a heart of gratitude, it is also important to acknowledge my own crosses, no matter how “small” they may seem to me in comparison with other people’s crosses. Infertility isn’t so small of a cross, it’s a huge suffering that many women silently carry, and I have felt God stirring my heart lately to share my journey with it.
Right now, I’m not really sure how to go about sharing my story or exactly what pieces of it God desires for me to share. But, I have felt a strong tug in my heart to become more open about my own journey with infertility in case there is anyone out there with similar struggles who is longing to find community, support, and understanding.
Sister, if you are struggling with infertility, no matter how short or long your struggle has been for, you are not alone. If you ever want to talk, I am here. I am looking forward to where God is leading me in this and to sharing more with you soon. Peace and God’s blessings to you!